The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good
at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree
on the right hand corner as a trademark for all
my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when
I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot
but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a
pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't
have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary
gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent,
like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her
intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going
after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary
like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid
that after we are together all the good feelings
will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will
hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will
be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up
everything just for her. The last reason, made her
accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after
gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding
director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped
into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say
"Go on!" before running off. The next
day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely
didn't want to think about what causes her to cry
but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go
back home, she was alone crying in the classroom.
She didn't know that I returned from soccer training
to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or
so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once
when both of them quarreled. I know that based on
her character she's not the type that will start
off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked.
I didn't care about her feelings and walked off
with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh
& joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know
that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked
her out. After going out for a day, I told her that
I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally,
she has something to tell me too. I told her about
my break up and she told me about her getting together.
I know whose the guy. He has been going after her
for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy,
lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has
been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile
& congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart
ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like
a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath.
Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down &
I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen
her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her
presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was
send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't
read it since then. It says "Leaf departure
is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't
ask her to stay"
Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree
she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot
of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on
very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as
buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend,
I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt -
Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe
by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together
for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong
sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together
with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't
he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want
to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend,
my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was
hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided
love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me
so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for
a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings
towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect
me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care
for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one
fine day, he will come & love me. It's like
waiting for his phone call every night, wanting
him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy
he is, he will make time for me. Because of this,
I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to
go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes,
I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and
hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior
begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when
I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small
footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle
wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give
this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this
wind will bring this badly battered leave far away
& better land. Finally I left tree, but the
tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf
departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because
Tree didn't ask her to stay
Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's
so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind.
A wind that will blow her away. When I first met
her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school.
I saw a petite person looking at my seniors &
me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always
be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends
looking at him. When he talks with gals there's
jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's
a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed.
I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of
uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well.
I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my
senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while
he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place,
looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised.
She looked at me, smiled & accept the note.
The next day, she appeared & pass me a note
and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow
her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because
leaf never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly
she started to talk to me & accept my presents
& phone calls. I know that the person she loves
is not me. But I have this perseverance that one
day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have
declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be
mine, I will definitely use all means to win her
over. I can't remember how many times I have declared
my love to her. Although I know she will try to
divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping
that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't
hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked
"what are you doing? How come you didn't want
to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm
nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang
up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and
rush to her place & press her door bell. During
the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her
tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
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